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medium_15161788022“Sex is the consummation of the wedding vows, and your body is making a promise of those vows (even if you do not). The vows you make with your heart and voice on your wedding day—to love freely, totally, faithfully, and fruitfully—are then expressed with your bodies later on that night. Sex makes the vows incarnate. So technically, you’re not married if you haven’t consummated your marriage, because the vows have not yet been fulfilled bodily.

“… On my wedding night I didn’t “lose” my virginity. I freely chose to give myself—body, mind, heart, and soul—to my husband who promised to love me ‘til death do us part. I definitely didn’t feel shame or loss. I didn’t feel dirty or bad. I felt beautiful and holy and child-like. And my husband? You can bet that he did the same and felt the same. Even if virginity has been “lost” at some point in the past, it is still possible with Reconciliation and God’s grace to be able to, for the first time, give oneself freely, totally, faithfully, and fruitfully. And trust me: when sex includes all of those things, that’s when someone really knows what they’re doing.”

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photo credit: Kevin Cortopassi