One piece of advice I’ve read in countless posts about how to have a happy marriage is to work on communication, and to remember that your husband can’t read your mind.
Whether you wished he didn’t throw his clothes on the floor in the bedroom, or that he’d take you to the movies more often, or that he hurt your feelings when he said something, I’ve found that we can’t expect our husbands to know any of these things unless we talk about them — clearly, honestly, and gently.
We should make allowances for our husband’s forgetfulness once in a while — for his faults and his flaws, because God knows (really, He does!) that we have plenty of our own. We should be understanding and forgiving.
If we can’t be those things for our husbands, then I’m positive that bitterness will overcome us.
And that’s like poison for all relationships.
Matthew Jacobson wrote a post on his blog about how to approach your spouse when you’re upset with them so that you don’t allow that bitterness to grow.
Here’s an interesting point he made:
“When we’re offended by something our spouse did, we often want him/her to come our way – to initiate the reconciliation. Seriously, does she not see that I’m peeved/hurt/angry? Is he so blind he can’t see how much he has hurt me?
“Jesus disagrees. He teaches that the offended party is the one who should act first. If your brother commits an offense against you, go to him and tell him his fault (Matthew 18:15 MLJV).
“Seek out your spouse. Tell him/her what happened that offended you. Many times, these conversations don’t go so well because we pursue them in the flesh rather than being led by the Spirit.”
He goes on to suggest what to keep in mind while approaching your spouse. You can read the rest of his post here.
photo credit: John Hope Photography