You know what feels like one of the worst things to admit? That sometimes I don’t feel like praying the daily novena prayer… (I know, I know, it’s ridiculous — I run Pray More Novenas!)
There are days, though — and yesterday was one of them, when I ask myself, “Will this really do anything? Will anything change because of this one prayer?”
I don’t know someone who doesn’t feel like this once in a while — even if it’s very rare. And admittedly, that makes me feel better about it.
There’s something that I’ve been suffering from for a short while now, and it has weighed heavily on my heart to be struggling with it. Another cross. Another health problem. When I add them all up (which I don’t recommend, by the way), it can all feel unbearably heavy.
And then yesterday, I read about a wound of Jesus that nobody really knew about — His worst wound, His, “greatest unrecorded suffering.” It was his shoulder wound due to the weight of carrying His Cross.
Let’s let that sink in for a second… Because reading that really stopped me for a second. It took my breath away.
It, of course, reminded me that Jesus knows the weight of what I’m carrying right now. It’s not an unfamiliar load to Him, however (very) different it looks…
It also gave me some… encouragement (is that the right word?) to keep going forward even if this cross of mine doesn’t change.
Solidarity; I think that’s the word I was looking for.
Solidarity and Communion. Which I’ve written about before here.
After reading about Jesus’ wound, His shoulder, and how, interestingly enough, it was something that was known or recognized, I said my daily novena prayer.
I think I did because knowing better about Jesus’ wound helped me to confide in Him about mine.
And of course it would. Vulnerability breeds intimacy. Brene Brown says vulnerability is, “the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love.”
So I just wanted to share with you a little bit about what I just learned about Jesus — about His wound, His greatest wound, in case it could help bring You closer to Him through your greatest wound today.
And as my Babcia (Polish Grandmother) said on the phone to me the other day, “He knows everything you’re going through. He sees You everyday. He is holding you in the palm of His hand.”
And St. Anne must have known this too. How could she not? So I’m going to keep on praying.