My husband & I have had an interesting work-home relationship since we were married.
When we were first married, I was working the night shift (12am- 9am) while he was working a normal day-time job (8am – 5pm). Because of those weird hours and my sleep schedule, my poor husband often came home to me sleeping, or just waking up — which wasn’t a pretty picture 🙂 Imagine some type of animal that hibernates for the winter months and then wakes up suddenly to Spring — their eyes take a while to adjust to the light, and that was exactly what it was like for me to walk out of our dark bedroom (black-out curtains!) into the sunny and well-lit dining room & kitchen. To put it mildly, it was painful.
And that wasn’t the worst of it.
What I didn’t enjoy about that time of our lives together was that he was coming home after his long day of work to a wife that 1) didn’t look her best, 2) felt sick, and 3) whose last wish was to make them dinner.
It was a struggle. I was barely awake enough to ask him about how his day had gone. It’s weird to ask how someone’s day had gone when you’re just waking up to the start of yours.
Fortunately, I’m no longer working the night shift, and so some of those issues were cleared up right away when I got to sleep at the same time as my husband. I’d have more energy to welcome him home, I was able to make the house look nice for him when he got home so he felt like he could relax and unwind instead of tidying up, himself. And I could make us dinner again — instead of dinner for him and breakfast for me.
Now I know that most couples will never have different sleep schedules, but I do think that all couples will deal with an issue that their spouse may have with their job — whether it be bosses wearing them to their bones, co-workers that are hard to handle, a long commute to and from work, too much being asked of them, and the list goes on and on and on.
And when that happens, what can you do for your spouse to support them where they are?
That’s where this comes in: How to Support Your Husband When He Struggles At His Job by Lisa over at Over the Big Moon.
“Marriage is a partnership – there are times that we all need to be lifted, but there are also times when we need to lift our partners.
“When I see worry and anxiety set in I have found there are small things I can do that really help ease the frustration he is feeling. Helping him find comfort and stability at home seem to make things at work not seem so bad. I’m not saying that you have to be perfect! But with a little effort you can really help your man not only feel supported but also more confident. Which in turn can help him resolve some of the concerns he is feeling at work. This is not limited to work either. These things can help him with any of the struggles he is facing. I try to focus on these things for about 7 days and I can see that it really changes the way my husband feels!”
Of course, my favorite tip of hers is this last one here:
- “Pray for Him – There is something about expressing our worries to our God and asking him to help our husband that also softens our own hearts for our husband and his struggles. It helps us feel less selfish and more mindful of his needs. We can also get impressions on how we can best help.”
photo credit: John Hope Photography