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pair-347220_640We hear, and I write about, all the time, what we should do in our relationship with God and with our husband to make our marriages as good as they can be.

What we don’t hear a lot about, though, and what I haven’t really written about myself, are the things we shouldn’t be doing.

The mistakes we make.

Gretchen Rubin’s got us covered here.

She wrote:

“Studies show that married people treat each other with less civility than they show to other people — and I do this with my husband, I know. I’m working hard on basic consideration, such as giving him warm greetings and farewells, not reading my emails while talking to him on the phone, etc. Very basic, I know.”

Yikes. Guilty.


“Taking my husband for granted. Just as I find it easily to overlook the chores done by my husband (see #4), it’s easy for me to forget to appreciate his many virtues and instead focus on his flaws. For example, although I find it hard to resist using an irritable tone, my husband almost never speaks harshly, and that’s really a wonderful trait. I’m trying to stay alert to all the things I love about him, and let go of my petty annoyances. This is easier said than done.

I’ve found that working to keep my resolution to Kiss more, hug more, touch more is an effective way to help me stay in loving, appreciative frame of mind, with my husband and my daughters, too. KMHMTM is one of my very favorite resolutions! It doesn’t take any extra time, energy, or money, and it makes a real difference in the atmosphere of my home.”

You can read the rest here.