I remember talking with my best friend in college about this — about whether the relationship you have with your boyfriend or girlfriend, or eventually your spouse, was supposed to complete you.
We came to the conclusion that it couldn’t possibly complete you — not the relationship and not the other person.
Like with almost any other aspect of our lives, God has to come first — and it’s truly Him that completes us. There is a serious part of our hearts that is specifically designed for God to fit in it, and if we try to place something else in that spot — like our relationships or our money or our careers, then we’ll find that it’s like putting a square peg into a round hole.
Paul Angone from Relevant Magazine writes:
“If you’re looking for a relationship to complete you, you will consistently feel very lacking. Your spouse is not God, a magic genie, or a unicorn with wish-granting abilities. Your spouse is a human.
If you’re putting unrealistic mythical expectations on your relationship, it might end up more Greek tragedy than romantic comedy. A good relationship should not complete you; it should inspire and challenge you to work on filling in the cracks on a daily basis.
My wife can’t complete me, and I don’t put that heavy expectation on her. But my wife does give me the encouragement and strength to strive to be better every day. And my wife helps give me peace while I continually work on my incompleteness.”
While your spouse and your marriage can’t complete you, the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony is ordered towards you and your spouse helping one another get to Heaven — and bringing Christ to one another, and being Christ to one another, in the here and now. And from there, God does the completing and the fulfilling.
As Blessed Fulton Sheen said, “The human heart is not wrong in wanting love; it is wrong only in thinking that a human can completely supply it.”