It’s the testimony of a good friend of ours, Sister Alicia, and her experience of learning more about what truly matters in her life and vocation — and learning more about what God really wanted from her.
Listening to her speak and say these words reminds me that this is true for us all: it is not our work that matters to God, but it is us and it is our relationship with Him, and how we share that relationship with those closest to us and those we encounter in our daily lives. This is a part of every vocation.
“I got really sick, and I was in bed for basically two months straight. And it was really hard because up until that point in my life, I was just go go go go go… Everything was so intense and so crammed together, and I don’t think I ever gave myself the space to really breathe and to experience God’s love for me… What the Lord really taught me in that time of illness was (that) what I do is okay, but really, what He cares about is me, and who I am. I can do all sorts of wonderful things for the neighbors here, for wherever I’m called to serve, but all of that really means nothing if I don’t have that relationship with the Lord, and if I don’t desire to share that with the people that I encounter. His desires for me and my relationship with Him is so much more important than anything that I do, and because of that relationship, what I do has meaning.” – Sr. Alicia
I am so emotional hearing her testimony because I can relate so well. I also used to go, go, go, go, go, but then my weaknesses and limitations caught up with me in the way of chronic stomach problems and other sporadic illnesses. The second I had to slow down and realize I couldn’t do it all was the second that I, too, realized that that really didn’t matter the most to our Lord.
The work I do truly is meaningless if I do not first have a good relationship with Him. And how can I have that good relationship with Him if I don’t spend time with Him first and foremost? And how can I have that good relationship with Him if I am always on the go, always working on something? We are supposed to rest, we are supposed to sit in His love and deepen our relationship with him; after all, He gives us Sundays!
It is so hard for me to slow down. It is so hard for me to not be upset that I can’t do more when I’m not feeling well.
But like Sr. Alicia points out here, even those moments can be turned into glorifying God if we only just let Him love us and let His love pour into our suffering.
That’s what I’ll be doing today. Trying to, at least. Because it’s not something I’ve perfected yet — and honestly, I’m not sure it is something I will ever perfect. But I imagine that its perfection — as all other things — will be obtained in Heaven.